Single Mom Therapy

Considering Parenting As A Single Mom?

mom and daughter hugging and smilingAre you a single mom by choice, or are you thinking about having a baby as a single parent?

Do you worry about how having a child will add stress to your life or limit certain opportunities?

And is an anxious inner voice telling you that you can’t possibly do this alone?

Despite being excited about the prospect of having a child, the process of conceiving, having (or adopting), and raising a baby without a partner can be lonely. Especially if you have a difficult pregnancy and/or birth, you may not feel like you have the support you need to make this transition with joy and confidence.

Even if you have already done the “hard” part of conceiving and delivering or adopting a baby on your own, you may feel like things are actually getting more challenging as your child gets older. The people who promised to be there for you might now be unavailable or absent. And though you may have friends who also have kids, it probably isn’t easy to connect with them if they’re parenting from a conventional two-parent model.

As single moms, we have our good days and our bad days. Raising a child without a lot of support is exhausting, and it’s easy to feel underprepared and overwhelmed on a daily basis. You may feel like there isn’t enough space in your life for your needs. As a result, you may be worried that you made the wrong choice, are doing a bad job, or feeling guilty that you miss elements of your past life.

But I am here to tell you that you are not alone on your parenting journey, no matter how isolating it may be at times. As a therapist specializing in counseling for single mothers, I want to help you feel validated in your choice and empowered in your strengths as a parent.

Parenting Is Hard Enough As Is, But There Are Added Obstacles For Single Moms

All moms experience stress and self-doubt when transitioning into parenthood, but single moms typically have themselves—and themselves alone—to rely on. There are so many decisions to make before the baby even comes, beginning with selecting a sperm donor, birth parent, and/or surrogate. If fertility issues are present, the process can be even more taxing and complicated.

Fear and anxiety are completely normal responses to significant life changes, even if we’re excited about them. Yet, as single moms by choice, we have to be very intentional about our decisions. Many of us are impacted by past wounds and harmful relationships, so we have to be deliberate about becoming attuned parents so as not to continue the legacy of intergenerational trauma.

Unfortunately, our society doesn’t offer much support to single moms, making parenting all the more difficult. Our framework for the “ideal” family unit involves two heterosexual parents, excluding those who identify otherwise. Not to mention, many of us come from religious backgrounds that place a tremendous value on father figures and doing what is “natural.” We get bombarded by negative anecdotes and statistics about children of single parents, causing us to feel unfit as mothers.

Whether you have been a single mother for a while or are just starting to figure out if you want to be a single mom by choice, there are resources like therapy that can help you heal and be confident in your strengths and decisions. Working together, we can process your fears and create a lasting support network—including community and coping skills—that will allow you to parent with pride.

Counseling For Single Moms Through Centering Healing

mom with her son 2Unlike other areas of your life where you’re likely met with skepticism or judgment about your decision to be a single mom, therapy is an open, empathetic atmosphere where you are invited to come exactly as you are. I will individualize the counseling experience based on your unique goals, whether you’re curious about exploring options for fertility/adoption, looking for perinatal support, or in need of emotional regulation skills to help you become a healthy, attuned parent.

I will work with you in therapy to understand that your child is not inherently doomed to become a statistic, arming you with techniques and perspectives to unlearn harmful and inaccurate narratives about single mothers.

My Approach

A big part of the treatment process is teaching you how to sit with discomfort, as opposed to numbing, avoiding, or becoming triggered by it. As you slow down your thought process and emotional response, you will be able to make decisions for yourself and your child that make sense for you and don’t need to be validated by anyone else.

Through these practices, you’ll be better able to set boundaries with those around you. I’ll help you calmly and effectively discuss your decisions with loved ones, offering you coping skills to handle tough conversations. Instead of feeling like you have to please everyone else with the choices you make, you will learn to affirm and validate yourself.

Finally, therapy for single moms is a great opportunity to explore your attachments. Whether you grew up in a supportive, attuned environment or have been impacted by attachment trauma, you have been given certain models for how to parent. Collaborating together, we will identify which models are healthy and which ones to adjust through trauma-informed treatment methods.

If becoming a mother is important to you—even if you’re single—then therapy can be a great opportunity to help you take that leap. You are more likely to regret something you didn’t do than something you did, and by working together in counseling, you can find a sense of confidence and community that will allow you to thrive as a single mom.

Still Unsure If Therapy Is Right For You?

Am I making the right choice in becoming a single mother?

Therapy will be a great place to explore your choice to become a single mother. I will help you better understand why you want to make this choice and what to expect—both in terms of the happy, exciting parts of parenting as well as the challenging ones.

I find that single moms gain clarity as they put words to their feelings in therapy. With me, you can see that there is no “right” or “wrong” choice, but a choice that makes sense for you.

How do I handle other peoples’ judgment about my decision to become a single parent?

Unfortunately, people can be very judgmental and don’t even realize it, making their questions and comments even more hurtful. Therapy for single moms is specifically designed to increase your sense of confidence and empowerment so that you can feel clear on your choices, regardless of what other people say about them. Furthermore, because counseling can help connect you with other single mothers, you can find a sense of community with fellow moms who understand what you’re going through.

I want to have a child, but I suffered trauma in my childhood and don’t want to perpetuate the cycle. Can therapy help?

mom with her sonDeciding to parent can bring up some uncomfortable feelings and memories, especially if we had stressful, unsafe, or traumatic childhoods. My primary specialty is trauma counseling—specifically among those who experienced childhood trauma—so I can help you process past pains as you prepare for a brighter future. To find out more about my approach, you might find the following helpful:

My Therapy for Survivors of Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse page

Empower Your Choice And Parent With Pride

If you are or want to be a single mom, therapy can help you take ownership of your decisions and chart a plan for success. For more information, contact me. Treatment is available to residents in California, Florida, and Israel.

Have any questions? Send me a message!

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